Crossing to Arathi Highlands
by Velgamidragon
Summary: Oneshot. Five members of the Alliance want to get to the Arathi Highlands but their way is blocked by a Dark Iron dwarf whose using references from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. How will they deal with this strange adversary?


Crossing to Arathi Highlands

**Author's Note: This is a Monty Python-styled World of Warcraft fanfic. If your haven't watched ****Monty Python and the Holy Grail**** or played ****World of Warcraft****, then this won't make any sense to you whatsoever so don't read it. Kids don't try this at home.**

**Disclaimer: And now for the evil disclaimer of doom; I don't own World of Warcraft or Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Because if I did there would be a level 80 hostile bunny in WOW and I would have gotten rid of the killer bunny in MPATHG.**

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A level 42 female dwarf hunter with a snow leopard pet, a level 37 male human mage, a level 49 male night elf druid, a level 35 female draenei shaman, and a level 32 warlock gnome, were crossing the bridge between Dun Modr in the Wetlands to the Arathi Highlands when a level 80 elite Dark Iron Dwarf appeared out of nowhere blocking their path and they thought they were all dead until he spoke:

"Halt! I am the Bridge Keeper. Whoever wishes to cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three if the other side ye seek."

The five players were confused. What the heck was this? He could easily kill them all with one shot but he was making them answer questions? After some furious debating amongst themselves, it was decided that the dwarf would try and answer the questions.

She stepped forward gun in hand, snow leopard in stealth mode, and said, "Ask me the questions Bridge Keeper. I am not afraid."

The Dark Iron Dwarf pointed at her, "What… is your name?"

What did that have to do with anything?

"Emrin, Hunter of Ironforge."

"What…is your quest?"

Again, it was another straightforward question.

"To cross into the Arathi Highlands."

"What… is your favorite color?"

"Blue!" she said enthusiastically.

"Ok! Off you go," he said and waved her onward.

"Ok, thanks," she said and her snow leopard, Soranna, came out of stealth mode.

"I'd ask your kitty the questions…but obviously she can't speak either dwarvish or common.

Emrin crossed the bridge without another word, constantly looking back over her shoulder at the weird humanoid. Maybe it was a glitch in the system.

The gnome named Fork, suddenly exclaimed, "That's easy." And he rushed forward.

"Halt!" said the Bridge Keeper, "Whoever wishes to cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three if the other side ye seek."

"Ask me the questions Bridge Keeper," he said squeakily, "I'm not afraid."

"What… is your name?"

"Fork, Warlock of Ironforge and Son of Spoon."

The Bridge Keeper paused for a second trying to figure out what he just said.

"What… is your quest?"

"To cross into the Arathi Highlands."

"What… is the capital of Tirisfal Glades?"

Fork paused for a moment, "I don't know. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

He had been launched into the air by some unknown force and fell into the water below in the Prison Valley Gorge which was typically filled with water. But it was the dry season and the river was completely evaporated. Everyone was silent. Fork didn't know the answer to the last question and he had died when he had gotten it wrong. Now, shaken somewhat, the human known as Animosity, volunteered himself by stepping forward.

"Halt! What… is your name?"

"Animosity, Mage of Stormwind and Lord of Hostility."

"What… is your quest?"

"To cross into the Highlands."

"What… is your favorite color?"

Instantly he spat out, "Blue!" But then he realized that it wasn't his favorite color, "No, wait… Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

He screamed as he too was launched into the dried-up river. The leader of the party, the shaman named Kunema, stepped forward.

"Halt!" cried the Bridge Keeper, "What… is your name?"

"Kunema, Shaman of the _Exodar_ and party leader."

"What… is your quest?"

"To cross into the Arathi Highlands."

"What… is the air speed velocity of an un-laden gryphon?"

"Your question is unclear. A Lordareonian or an Outlandian gryphon?"

The Dwarf pondered for a moment before he said, "I don't know. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

The Dark Iron Dwarf was launched into the air and over the railing into the dead river.

Anoomiks, the night elf, stared at where the dwarf had stood moments before and looked at Kunema, "How do you know so much about gryphons?"

Kunema shrugged, "When you're a shaman, you just know these things about the elements. So let's cross before he respawns and wait for the others to find a way to meet up with us."

Anoomiks agreed heartily and crossed without much hazard until Soranna leapt out of nowhere, roaring at them. When she saw who it was, she did a quick flip-twist in midair to avoid hitting them.

Kunema turned to where Emrin was hiding in the shadows, "Have Fork and Animosity rezed yet?"

She shook her head, "Nope but that was weird. I think I've heard those lines from somewhere before but I can't remember where."

"I know what you mean."

Fork climbed up the cliff and said, "Finally I made it. By the way, what's the capital of Tirisfal Glades?"

Emrin stared at him and Amooniks and Kunema slapped their foreheads.

"IT'S THE CAPITAL OF THE FORSAKEN!!!!!!" they shouted.

"Oh. What's the capital of the Forsaken again?"

They all went bug-eyed staring at him in bewilderment, "UNDERCITY!!!!!!"

They head a thud and they all turned towards the cliff and looked down. Animosity had rezed and he had slipped on a loose stone and fallen a couple feet. It wasn't until he got up to them that Emrin remembered where she had heard the bridge keeper lines before.

"I remember! It's from Monty Python and the Holy Grail."

"What!? Are you serious!?" Animosity shouted.

Fork joined in, "You mean that Blizzard created some character based on Monty Python and the Holy Grail."

Amooniks shook his head, "I think they've finally cracked. I mean seriously, why would they even do something like that?"

Kunema nodded in agreement, "How about we just all forget this ever happened and get where we need to already?"

The other four party members agreed heartily and the Tale of the Dark Iron Dwarf Bridge Keeper was never told.

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_I haven't actually seen Monty Python myself but my brother told me about it and I couldn't resist writing something about it._


End file.
